Monday, 29 July 2013

Politcians guide to growing taller

Being tall if you are a politician is essential if people (the public) are too take you seriously... but what if you aren't tall can are you doomed as a politician.. well not if i can help it. This guide will tell you how to erm.. grow taller.

So what can you do to be taller hey?

Stand on a box...

When doing speeches or speaking to the press make sure that you are standing on a box. But dont have the box in full view make sure it is hidden behind the stand... Standing on a box really does work.. honestly.... depending on the size of the box will help determine how tall you are who would of guessed it. But the bad thing about standing on a box is that you have to awkwardly stand there when the speech or whatever is over... until everyone has left so you can jump off the box...

Health and safety

  1. Standing on boxes can be dangerous so make sure that you wear a hard hat.
  2. Use ladders to get on the box.
  3. A Safety harness isn't required but can be used.

Have umpalumpas for bodyguards. Its no good trying to be tall if you are surrounded by tall bodyguards all the time. You should try to stand next to small people as often as you can.. so you look taller obviously this is also important in photos... especially when you are with other politicians like in  the g8 summits where you all have to look like friends and have a family photograph together.... dont stand next to the tall politicians instead stand next to the Agela merkels instead.

Height increasing shoe lifts 

(In simple terms shoe lifts are actually just insoles really that make you taller by lifting your heel)

Don't wear high heels... or elevator shoes they are too obvious as with the huge heels... your a politician not a disco dancer.... shoe lifts are far better and people cant see them. So the press wont be any the wiser.. just make sure you keep wearing them and swap them into the shoes you want to wear otherwise you will be fluctuating in  height and people will be wondering whats wrong with you.

Shoe lifts are comfortable and discreet.. if the Hollywood stars wear them why cant you?

A bit of a oddity product so because I know being a politician means you are lazy I will give you a link to wear to buy some of these shoe lifts for you.

Shoe lift insoles £11.99

Make sure that you have loads of sculptures made of you everywhere where you are made to look really tall in them... preferably 10-20ft tall in the center of your capitol city. Over 20ft you might start getting people whinging  about the price.

Stretching exercises to get taller.. stretching exercises are done by many people and include yoga... what you could do is go to yoga classes at old peoples homes and pretend you are there on a visit but when in actual fact your just their to increase your height.

Well there you have it a guide to growing taller for politicians be sure to spread the word of this guide by sharing it on the internet... oh wait maybe not otherwise everyone will be tall then what will we do?

This was a article by  pennpoliticalreview dont be a idiot by copying and pasting this article on your own website and posting it as your own otherwise your well an idiot... you can share and quote this article as much as you want though!


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